I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
40s are totally the cure
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
