just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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