Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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