I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
