i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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