Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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