I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
the raccoons are back...
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