i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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