Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
