Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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