Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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