Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
