Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
