You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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