In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
