I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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