My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
