i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
