Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
