...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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