this just has baby written all over it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
