He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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