make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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