i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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