Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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