Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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