Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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