i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize