Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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