look no pants
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
this hospital has no fireball
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
try to milk me bitch
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