My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
