oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize