I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
