i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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