I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
