it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
