my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
