How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
