1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
