i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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