Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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