just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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