I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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