he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
