she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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