first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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