Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize