Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
COCAINE IS GR8
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
