party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
