well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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