Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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