I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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