why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
