Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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