I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize