help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
