ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
