; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
