Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
