I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
