I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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