I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
