Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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