I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize