you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
