T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
