Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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