I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
